“Jaws Was Never My Scene—And I Don’t Like Star Wars!”


If you recognize these lyrics, you’ll recall that they’re from a 1978 “Queen” song called “Bicycle Race.” And this Saturday, May 24th, 2014 in beautiful Burlington, Iowa they held a bicycle race called The Snake Alley Criterium.  This just one of a series of races held this Memorial Day weekend in and around Southeast Iowa.

And, of course, the Snake Alley Criterium is followed by The Snake Alley Festival of Film in little more than a week’s time.

The Snake Alley Festival of Film is followed by Cyn-A-Palooza and their world-class Wiener Dog races.

And on the heels of Cyn-A-Palooza is a big music festival called “Steamboat Days.”

The, of course, there’s the Snake Alley Art Festival followed by…”I don’t know, I can’t keep up with all the happenings in this town.”

The bottom line is—This town rocks. But that begs the question, “When do these folks work?”

All joking aside, this year’s Snake Alley Festival of Film is going to be bigger and better than ever. The reason I mentioned those other events is to show you that there is always something going on here…and something for everyone. So, bring your family to The Snake Alley Festival of Film and let them enjoy all that Burlington, Iowa has to offer.


Can you guess the significance of the number 72 and what it has to do with The Snake Alley Festival of Film?

Is it how old Lonnie looks after The Snake Alley Festival of Film is over for this year?

Is it the number of typos and grammatical corrections that Tina will have to fix before the final lineup is submitted to the printer? (You see, it works like this: Pancho corrects Lonnie’s work. Tina corrects Pancho’s work. Then—when everything is printed—some bright-eyed grammarian will spot a mistake and loudly point it out.)

Could 72 be the number of steps Lonnie takes in one direction when he’s pacing back and forth?

Nope! It’s none of the above.

“72” is the number of unbelievably talented submissions that will be shown at the Capital Theater during this year’s Snake Alley Festival of Film. Add to that the reading of some phenomenal screenplays, tours of Burlington like you’ve never seen it, Q & A’s with actors, screenwriters, and film makers, followed by knock-your-socks-off after parties…and you’ve got some idea of what’s in store for you at this year’s Snake Alley Festival of Film.

If this is your first time, you’ll see why this is called a “must see” event!

And I’ve got one word for that grammarian whose waiting. (Should that have been who’s?) And that word is “Theiy’re”! (As in, “They’re buying their tickets so they can be there.) Pffftt!

On Being Thankful!

It’s the time of year when we’re supposed to look back (and forward) and think of all the things we are thankful for. My thought is…if you are alive and healthy, you’ve already got a lot to be thankful for. If you live here, in the greatest country in the world, you’ve got even more to be thankful for. If you have family and friends that love you and care about you, then you’ve got it all!

Here at The Snake Alley Festival of Film, we have many things to be thankful for. Here’s a partial list:
We’re thankful for all of the wonderful people (volunteers, sponsors, and contributors) who help make this film fest a huge success.
We’re thankful for all of the talented people we’ve met so far and for those we’ll meet in the future.
We’re thankful for the people of Burlington, Iowa for getting behind this project when we started it and continuing to support it.
We’re thankful for all of the film makers, screenwriters, and artistic folks from around the globe who’ve contributed to our success.
We’re thankful for having such a great venue (The Capitol Theater) to showcase the talent that participates in The Snake Alley Festival of Film.
We’re thankful for Tina Salamone, who helped take us to the next level, and also a little sad that she’s taken a job as the Performing Arts Manager for the City of Bloomington, Illinois.
We’re thankful that we’ve been granted non-profit status so that our donors can take the tax write-off.
And we’re thankful for our family and loved ones, both near and far away.

This is only a partial list, but it gives you an idea of how much we all have to be thankful for. For the rest of this year and into the next, use gratitude as a guide for all that you do.

From our house to yours—Have a very Happy Thanksgiving! Here’s a little Thanksgiving treat from the Disco Era. Have your speakers on.





Paulina and Julian

Paulina and Julian

Phil, Gary, and JoJo

Phil, Gary, and JoJo

While I was at the gym yesterday, I saw a guy come in on crutches. He was wearing shorts, a tee shirt, and a walking cast. (That’s one of those things that looks like a knee-length Frankenstein boot.) He’s a regular and I’d seen him working out many times before, in his pre-cast days.

My curiosity got the best of me, so I decided to see what he was going to do. On crutches, he hobbled around the gym and completed his normal workout routine except for the part that required the use of his injured leg.

Now, THAT is dedication!

Dedication accomplishes some amazing things. It takes some serious dedication for Lonnie Schuyler to plan, set-up, and execute The Snake Alley Festival of Film each year.

It takes dedication for Tina Salamone to keep the newly refurbished Capitol Theater of Burlington, Iowa running at peak performance day after day.

And, it takes dedication for all of the volunteers who donate their time, energy, and sometimes money to make The Snake Alley Festival of Film a world-class event every year. (The names of the volunteers are listed in the blog post of June 19th, titled, “Burlington, Iowa…You Rock!”)

All of these dedicated people will tell you that it’s a labor of love.

So, what about you? Are you dedicated enough to shoot a possibly award-winning short film for this years Snake Alley Festival of Film?

Are you dedicated enough to write a mind-blowing screenplay?

Are you dedicated enough to enter The Third Annual Snake Alley Festival of Film and travel to Burlington, Iowa this coming summer to mingle with your fellow film makers?

Somehow, I think you are! And I’m looking forward to meeting all of you.

Anyone Seen Becky Thatcher?

Well, folks, we’re gearing up for the trip to Burlington. It’s time to get on up to The Second Annual Snake Alley Festival of Film.

It starts in just two and a half days. It looks like it’ll be a sell-out. Get on the phone or on-line to make sure you don’t get shut out. This is one of the “must-attend” film festivals. Heck! The after parties alone are worth the price of a ticket. Last year, the entertainment (band) and the parties kept moving after the bars closed.

We’ll be there (at least for some of the partying) but first we’ve got to make a stop along the way in Hannibal, Missouri. I’ve got to see a guy about painting a fence.

Then it’s a short hop to B-town. And let the festivities begin.
If you need tickets, call Tina Salamone at (319) 237-1099. She’s the gal who runs the show at the Capitol Theater.

She tolerates Lonnie, so she must be an alright lady.
See you at show time. And we’ll TRY to keep you updated as the festivities unwind.

On The Road Again!

On the trail to Burlington

This time next week, I’ll be on the way to The 2nd Annual Snake Alley Festival of Film in Burlington, Iowa. I’m looking forward to renewing friendships I made last year at the fest…and beginning some new ones.

There is an exciting line-up of films this year from all over the world, plus an added category for screen writers. (As a copywriter and blogger, I’m particularly interested in this one.)

The line-up is posted in the last blog post where you can decide which (if not all) of the films you plan to see. Remember to stop by the lobby afterward to vote for your favorite. (This is for the coveted “People’s Choice” award.)

We’ll be leaving sunny Florida for Burlington soon. Hopefully the Chamber of Commerce remembers to hit the “good tourist weather” button before we get there. (Actually, this is the perfect time of year to go to Burlington.)

If you haven’t already gotten your tickets, (what’re you waiting for???) here is the info you need:
Online, tickets available 24/7 at http://www.redtrucktickets.com
By phone, call 319-237-1099.
In person, at the Capitol Theater 211 N. 3rd Street.
Ticket Office hours 2-5pm Monday-Saturday and 2 hours before each event start time.

Executive Director
Burlington Capitol Theater
211 N. 3rd Street
Burlington, Iowa

On a side note, I want to congratulate Tina Salamone for putting up with my son (Lonnie Schuyler) during the run-up to the fest. (I can guarantee that this was no mean feat.) ;>)

My daughter-in-law asked me if Lonnie told us to bring our swim suits. Is he planning on drowning me so I can’t embarrass him?